So, am I Mr. Darcy or Elizabeth Bennet?

I read an amusing article over at the NYT. It’s about couples and attraction. A recent study compared attractiveness of people (in a couple with each other) and found a correlation between how long the pair had known one another to a disparity in their relative attractiveness. Here’s an excerpt:

“When the ratings for partners were compared, there was a clear pattern based on how long the people had known one another before they had begun dating.

If they’d begun going out within a month of meeting, then they tended to be equally attractive physically. But if they’d been acquaintances for a long time, or if they’d been friends before becoming lovers, then someone hot was more liable to end up with someone not so hot.”

HA! Give it a read HERE. It’s worth it.

Cati and I knew each other as light friends/acquaintances and later, email pen-pals, for about 4 years and there was no romance of which to speak during that time– ok, maybe a little flirting, but it was really tame. I had a girlfriend when we first met and she was still at the convent working with blind orphans (or whatever it is that our wives and mothers-of-our-children did before they met us husbands ;) ). This is what I tell myself, anyway.

After over ten years together; I often think about how much of a role good ol’ fashioned luck has had in our relationship (well, so far, anyway). [knocks on wood]

Btw, don’t let the title of this post fool you; I know I am the symmetrically challenged plebeian Elizabeth to her dashing, high-society Darcy.

The question is– if you knew your spouse for a long time before starting a romantic relationship; are you the ugly one? On the other hand, if you two were hot and heavy within a month of meeting one another, you’re probably of equal physical desireability.

Food for thought, indeed. Natually, feel free to comment down below. Unless of course you’re the ugly one in the relationship, in that case, we all understand your aversion to leaving a comment, you poor thing). ;)

Oh, and if you’re not in a relationship at the moment, the data says to take your time picking a partner–  your feelings will likely change on that person over the first few months of knowing him/her.

Just look at these two grinning fools as a new couple in 2004:


3 Responses to “So, am I Mr. Darcy or Elizabeth Bennet?”

  1. alex|dimitri says:

    …and why didn’t any of you ever tell me that I pretty much looked like Julie Andrews after a brick fight? Thanks a lot, people. THANKS. A. LOT.

  2. Cati says:

    I would argue that we are more the type that is equally attractive. Yes, we knew each other existed for four years, but the reasons why we didn’t start dating right away were like you said: 1) you had a girlfriend when we met, and 2) we were geographically separated (sometimes by thousands of miles)… then the girlfriend was gone and I finally left the convent.

    Once we were within close distance, everything happened very fast! Romance, marriage, babies, more romance. ;)

    You, sexy thing! Wait. Did I just compliment myself?

  3. alex|dimitri says:

    Maybe you’re right.

    Plus, everone is like 3-4 points hotter in Las Vegas, so we both had that going for us.

    (btw, if anyone reading this is wondering why we are communicating by blog, it’s because Cati, Nacho, and the kids left me weeks ago to get a head start on summer vacation). :(